


Vampire Bullshit (The Fanfiction)

by Toasty_Marshie, ZeMegaShipper



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Beware that there will be, I think that should be it tho, I want to be clear about that, If you want more of it then just let us know, M/M, Oneshot, Patton mention, Remus mention, This is a crack fic, This turned more and more into an actual fanfiction at the end, Though we do not plan on it, Virgil mention, Whereas ToastyMarshie and I set no rules aside from keeping the story somewhat cohesive, and sexual innuendoes, cursing, human!roman, offensive language, some depictions of blood and gore, that said, vampire!Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22140535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toasty_Marshie/pseuds/Toasty_Marshie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeMegaShipper/pseuds/ZeMegaShipper
Summary: A better story than Twilight? Who knows.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Vampire Bullshit (The Fanfiction)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> I feel like I wanna emphasize once again, me and ToastyMarshie set no rules for this story, aside from keeping it somewhat consistent. So there will be offensive stuff in it.  
> Just be warned.
> 
> After a while we noticed this turned more and more into an actual fanfiction, so we decided to end it where we did and while we may not be planning to do more with this story, please tell us if you want it and we might consider it. Both our schedules are busy, but we'll see what we can do.

As Logan was walking down an alleyway in the middle of the night during a cold night in November, perhaps you already would’ve thought ‘huh this sounds like a really bad and cliché idea. But what you perhaps wouldn’t have known, until now, is that Logan had his reasons and an… Urge… To… Suck…

Blood. It was blood. What else did you think?? You thought he was a male prostitute or something??? Okay that probably would’ve been the case if he failed college, but anyways, robot man was in the alleyway waiting for his next prey because well he’s a vampire. Logan absently rolled his eyes as he could already hear the twilight jokes and comparisons of him and Edward Collin, or whatever that poor excuse of a vampire’s name was. He’d rather be a vampire from Oblivion than some vampire from Twilight with a sparkling complex (seriously what vampire sparkles???). Logan looked around and saw a man with a red sash across his chest from his shoulder which made Logan become more all the more hungry. 

The man walking along the worn path had a click to his every step and an aura that just screamed… Arrogance.Logan couldn’t decide whether he should hate or love it, he just decided it must come down to what the fuck his emotions were to begin with. The bane of his existence, he knew that much. However shaking the thought from his head he stared back at his next prey. The, oh, so delicious scent of the other’s blood was magnifying and… Holy shit this is starting to sound more like twilight than anything else, and he was just preparing to attack as the man with such a high royal aura began approaching his hiding spot.

Although meanwhile Logan was having his wet dream about his prey, Roman, on the other hand, wasn’t having as grand of a time. His clown fucker brother decided to fuck around with him and kicked him out of the house so that he can some “quality time” with this guy he invited over. Roman walked through the alleyway wondering what to do. He heard footsteps behind him and looked around to see a handsome stranger approaching him from behind. Roman rolled his eyes at him, telling his own thoughts ‘He isn’t THAT hot.’ Roman thought to himself as he walked away from him, with his gay sass and all. 

While Logan stopped in his steps for a while, a bit perturbed at the nonchalance of the other and Roman was trying to tell off his disaster gay brain, Roman suddenly he felt himself thrown to the ground and knocking into one of the alley walls with, most presumably the guy behind him now being on top of him. ‘Kinky’ his brother’s voice rang in his head and he couldn’t even deny it. “You seriously thought walking down an alleyway at this hour wouldn’t get you into this type of situation?” Logan said from on top of him, raising an eyebrow a bit.

“Well fuck me,” Roman said to himself as he struggled against his attacker’s grip on him. Logan laughed at the futile attempt, “Well, if you want me too.” Oh shit, he really just said that. Logan slapped himself mentally and focused back on his task as he went closer to Roman’s neck. Roman was shocked as he tried to comprehend what the hot stranger just said. Logan opened his mouth revealing his fangs to Roman who gasped in response. “HOLY SHIT THIS IS TWILIGHT!” Logan stopped, covering the idiotic prince’s mouth up and slammed him to the wall. “What the fuck did you just say?” Logan asked with anger in his voice. 

Roman groaned against the wall at the impact. Logan continued in a lower tone. “I’ve heard enough Twilight comparisons in my life, thank you very much. I mean seriously?? Shining in the sunlight and staring at you while you sleep has become such a stereotype for us #stopthetwilightstereotype” To which Roman just rolled his eyes, unfortunately being unable to hide the smile spreading to his cheeks. ‘This dude legit just used a hashtag in a sentence’. Meanwhile, Logan narrowed his eyes at his prey, feeling anger rise to his voice again “You laughing at something, hot stuff?”

“Aw, you called me hot.” Roman winked at the vampire silently thanking his emo friend Virgil. He will buy him a shit ton of MCR merch for this line if he gets out alive. Logan growled (like the lesbians) and his face felt hot. Wait how can he blush? He was dead right?? RIGHT???? Whatever he’ll have this debate later as he heard his prey laugh. “Wow okay, Edward.’ This set him off as he screeched and backed off, which let Roman go. Roman didn’t hesitate to get the fuck out. “CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, BITCH!” Roman yelled out running as fast as Sonic towards the exit of the alleyway.

Little did he know, he had another motherfucking sonic (*Cough* shadow) behind him and sadly didn’t get far before Logan had recollected his senses and had him thrown against the wall again. Seriously. This guy must have a thing for throwing dudes against a wall. As Roman groaned once again, feeling his body grow sore from all the times he’d been thrown places, as he looked back at Logan, who had Roman’s back now propped up against a wall and you could almost see the fire seething from the side of Logan’s face as he held Roman up by the neck to keep him from escaping again. Roman just rolled his eyes as his airways tightened and he looked to the side “Oh, harder, daddy” to which some of Logan’s anger immediately dissipated and he replied with “Son?” Roman could only look back at him with his eyes widened a bit and a smile slowly crept on Logan’s face. “What? I know Hazbin Hotel.”

While Roman was glad his attacker took the reference, a thought struck him “By the way, real quick question, how old are you?” Logan looked at Roman bewildered. What an odd question to ask. “120 years old, Why?” Roman smiled before he got as close to the other as he could while being restrained. “Ok Boomer.” Logan shoved himself off Roman and him and slapped him. “I fucking hate you,” Logan muttered as he opened his mouth and bit Roman’s neck. “Damn… It...” Roman muttered as he felt his blood drain from him. Logan pulled away after a few minutes and let Roman drop to the ground. “Ow really? Is this how you treat your one night stand, partner?” Roman asked with a bit of a southern accent, Logan rolled his eyes. “Uncultured swines like you don’t deserve to be treated as our equals.” Logan then walked away from the injured Roman. “... Fuck.” Roman whispered to himself. How the hell was he gonna explain to Remus about the mark on his neck. He knows for sure his brother thought he got laid or something.

As Roman slowly got to his feet and supported himself on the poor assaulted wall (Roman only thought ‘Mood’), he began to make his way outside of the alleyway, pulling out his phone, that now apparently had a cracked screen from the ruckus earlier, to check the time, seeing how it was at this point 1 AM, he cursed to himself. At the very least he assumed traffic shouldn't be so bad at this hour, but as he stumbled right into the road at a ledge where the alleyway ended ‘Seriously why was there a ledge  _ there _ ????’ and immediately regret his previous predictions as he saw headlights from a speeding car tumbling towards him. He quickly balanced himself a bit and sighed heavily into his hand. "Seriously, this has to be the worst day of my life."

Logan heard the crash from afar and looked toward it, He was in shock seeing his prey dead on the ground. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” This was when Logan knew… He fucked up. The vampire ran to the wreckage seeing Roman’s body and the poor driver’s body. He lifted Roman up and walked away from the scene. Logan placed Roman in another alleyway as he waited for Roman to wake up. You see if a human is bitten by a vampire and then killed in any way, they come back as a vampire as well. Logan took a deep breath as he cursed to himself.

He knew he should have kept an eye on his victim if he knew there was a fairly trafficked road outside the alley (and perhaps not have slammed him into so many walls, that could’ve definitely helped), but alas now he and the victim had to suffer the consequences as Roman's limbs, which some had bent in unnatural ways, began to correct themselves back into position and bleeding wounds began to heal up. It wasn't long before Logan saw familiar red eyes open again, however, this time glowing a bit around the edges as all Logan could think was 'Oh fuck.'

Roman didn’t know how to react, All he knew was that he was in pain and was watching his body repair itself as the vampire who bit him watched in horror (Ironically enough). Roman then screamed as his body fully healed and punched the vampire as he stood up. “WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?” Roman asked hurting Logan’s ears. “Wait, let me explain please. Basically you died and came back to life as a vampire.” Roman stopped for a moment, then felt a few sobs wrack through him. “Now I’m Bella Swan, what the fuck!? I can’t go back to my brother like  _ THIS _ !” Roman shouted as the situation hit him hard. Logan just looked away feeling a bit guilty??? Oh hell no, he’s supposed to be the bad guy, not some anime protagonist who wants to save everyone like a certain demon prince.

He just took a deep breath and sighed. Patton had told him he tended to have a temper after all and he needed to calm down before this blew out of Proportion… "Look. It's not my fault you got into that car crash. It was just some weird coincidence. Now, Bella, if you want some help, you better fucking listen up or I'm leaving. I'm not going to be some protagonist in a story or stand through listening to your insufferable nonsense. Got it?" Roman just looked back at him a frown on his face, trying to win some staring contest full of spite, but reluctantly nodding anyway. Logan himself felt his expression change. While the guilt was still there, he wasn't going to listen to this man having a breakdown over what to do. He would just give the man some tips and be on his way to… Wonderland? Sure, let’s go with that.

Roman nodded and wiped away his tears to listen to this asshole. “Alright, tip 1, never step into the sun or you’ll be a burnt chicken nugget. Tip 2 you have to get those eye colors contact things so that people don’t point out your eyes. Tip 3…… I don’t have a third one, which broke the rule of three writers use in literature.” Logan stopped when he saw Roman’s confused face. “Nevermind, yeah those two are all I got. Good luck.” With that Logan left, Roman just sighed. Welp… He’s fucked now. 


End file.
